Video 4

I have a letter to Kat here which I will read from the teleprompter because I spilled energy drinks all over those ones. Kat, I liked you back when you were more positive. Now it seems like all you do is talk about how stuff sucks. Hey, I don’t think everything sucks and I’ll prove it to you. Without further ado, I present to you stuff that does not suck! And in brackets says it’s totally awesome. See this. This is my bracket symbol. It’s going to be way bigger than air quotes “mark my word”. Unfortunately the letter took up most of the segment today. So I’ll have to keep it short but sweet. How sweet it’ll be. Today’s stuff that doesn’t suck and in brackets says is totally awesome is all about food, delicious food. Specifically bacon. Now we all know bacon is delicious but did you know it can also be used as fuel? That’s right. Somebody made a thermal lance, a cutting torch typically made out of iron, out of prosciutto. For sheer destructive force, few tools match a thermal lance. This now is the fully completed bacon lance. Let’s take to the shop and see if it works. Alright we’re in the shop now. I have the bacon lance hooked up to a cylinder of oxygen gas. Let me turn the gas on. I tried to get the boss to let me make a bacon death torch for the show but apparently I’ve been banned from playing with open flame. Anyway that’s all. This has been your first edition of stuff that does not suck and in brackets that says it’s totally awesome. Love and happy things and unicorns and rainbows okay. I’m going to barf up a fuzzy bunny. I’ll see you on nakednews.com.