Video 9

So I saw Wolverine Origins this weekend and it was the worst piece of cinematic toilet paper I have ever encountered and I’m not talking good toilet paper either. This piece is the cheap rough toilet paper that’s recycled from sand paper that everybody’s boss buys to cut costs. First up, apparently Wolverine hates killing people. I don’t know what universe this is pulled from because in pretty much any wolfie related run I’ve read in his early days he was a killer machine. I’m going to cut your head. See if that works. He joined William Striker’s special ops team and Striker says Logan is the best at what he does. Now since Wolverine doesn’t even kill anyone or even really maim anyone in this PG-13 nightmare, my only guess as to what he does best is brooding and shouting rrrrrggggggg. Oh wait he’s also good at shouting rrrrrrrrrgggggggggggg. Okay. Moving on. So along Logan’s travels he meets up with Gambit whose Cajun accent sounds about as accurate as my British accent and only lasts about 5 minutes before he drops it entirely. Gambit can apparently move cars with his mind now. Also Silver Fox is somehow Emma Frost’s sister who has traveled all the other mutants in cages and dead pool? Want to hear how origins messed up dead pool? Well see the movie or check out the rest of my rant at nakednews.com. I guarantee the second option will be less painful.